יום ו Date: 21 Nisan, 5775 (4/10/15) – Kesuvos#67 {Tani}

FIERY SHAME

[67b bottom] Mar Ukva and his wife both jumped into a fiery furnace (when being chased by a poor person who wanted to find and thank his supporters), rather than embarrass a pauper. [Mar Ukva’s feet started burning and his wife told him to place them on her’s (which did not burn, because she prepared ready-made food for the poor at home; a higher level of support).]
Mar Zutra bar Toviah quoting Rav or Rav Huna bar Bizna quoting R’ Shimon Chasida or Rav Yochanan quoting R’ Shimon ben Yochai: “It is better that a person should surrender oneself into a fiery furnace, rather than publicly put a neighbor to shame.” Even Tamar was willing to be burned rather than put her father-in-law to shame [as she chose to send him cryptic signs which led to Yehudah’s own confession that saved her life (after becoming pregnant from him)].
Artscroll notes [Shaarei Teshuvah 3:139/Tosafos to Sotah 10b]: The pain one experiences by being shamed in public is often greater than that of death itself; just as one is required to give up his life rather than kill another Jew, so must he forfeit his life before embarrassing someone.

Prac-T-cal Tidbits: We must always strive to avoid shaming everyone around us, especially in public. Nowadays, many cultures and political figures thrive on putting others down. We must be extra sensitive to these matters in our times and envision the flames that can potentially burn other peoples’ homes and lives down.